I’ve been to two events where alcohol was present since I last journaled. One I was disciplined, one not as much. Thursday was my friend’s 30th birthday at a brewery, where we were each given two drink tickets. Each ticket allowed you one drink for free. I waited a while for my first drink and then slowly sipped it for the duration of the evening. I ended up leaving roughly a 1/5th of a pint left and gave the other ticket to someone else. While we were there, I ordered a grilled chicken wrap, and I felt great afterward. It was nice leaving the bar, being able to drive, and knowing that I wasn’t going to wake up hungover the next day. It was also nice knowing that I was able to have fun without drinking a lot. I might not have even had the one beer if it weren’t for the free drink tickets. I probably could’ve given away both tickets, but I felt bad since my friend’s girlfriend paid for everyone. People-pleasing is something else that I need to work on. I want to make the best decision for me and not for others. I shouldn’t be drinking poison just because someone paid for me to do so.
Yesterday, we went a house warming for another friend’s girlfriend. I knew I would drink and had planned on it, so we brought seltzers so that we didn’t drink beer the whole time. While we were there, I had three or four seltzers and three shots. I also had a couple of slices of pizza and some cheesy bread. I would’ve never at the pizza and cheesy bread if it weren’t for drinking. Usually, I’d be pounding shots and would eat anything in sight. Even though I didn’t go as hard as I’d usually, it’s a lot more than a single beer like I had the other night. And it wasn’t worth it. It was fun getting to see my friend, but I didn’t get to know anyone else, and it was expensive. I wanted to go and be a good friend, so I’m glad I went, but I don’t feel like drinking made me any more social. I didn’t feel the need to go up to anyone and make conversation even after having some drinks. If I think about it, what was the point of drinking? I could’ve had just as much fun catching up with my buddy without a drink.
This coming weekend, I’ll be going to the beach from Thursday until Saturday, which means there will be drinking Thursday and Friday night. I’m going to buy some non-alcoholic beers and see what happens when I drink those instead. Will I have just as much fun, and will anyone even notice? I’ll bring some seltzers for Thursday night, skip drinks during the day Friday, and shoot for Friday to be the drinking night. I can show discipline. I know that I can. I want to try and have a fun night with my buddies without having to drink a lot.
With that all said, I haven’t missed a 3-mile jog since I started that last week and I’ve also been tracking my calories in the myfitnesspal app on top of working out four days a week. I can do this. The main thing that I want to remember is that I’m going for progress, not perfection. Limiting my alcohol consumption isn’t a change that I’m looking to make just for the wedding. I want this to be a change that lasts, so I need to do it realistically. I’m looking to have an overall healthier lifestyle, and I’m taking steps to get there. I will be successful in my goal, but it might not be as black and white as I made it out to be. I am not going to burn out. I will hit it hard until the wedding and see who I am nineteen weeks from now.
To come up with a good strategy and hold myself accountable, below are the events that I’m going to drink at between now and my wedding. I am not going to drink every day during these events. But these are events that I’m allowing myself at least one drink. I know I am going to drink at these events, so I’m going to be realistic. I know I could not have a drink, but right now, I still want one. Even after reading the naked mind, I still haven’t kicked it. I still am scared that people won’t want to hang out with me, and even though I know, I won’t necessarily have less fun. Even if I will have less fun, why does that matter? I’m allowed not to have fun as long as I’m not ruining anyone else’s time. That’s something to think about. At the same time, we’re all adults, so if people let the fact that I’m not drinking ruin their time, that’s on them.
- Beach June 6/17-6/18
- Cape May 7/2-7/5
- Wedding 7/9
- Concert 9/5
- Bachelor Party 9/19
