On October 23rd, 2021, I’ll be marrying the love of my life. This day also happens to be our 5th anniversary. It falls on a Saturday, and it’s going to be perfect. We have a little less than 5 months until the big day, and for the life of me, I can’t seem to lose any weight. As of now, we are also still working from home due to Covid-19. At the beginning of quarantine, I lost weight and was down to below 200 pounds for the first time in years. The last time I weighed myself, I was 223 lbs. MY goal is 187 lbs. by my wedding. The goal was to lose 30 lbs (I was 217 when I came up with that goal. I’ve been exercising a lot, but my food and drink choices have not been the best. I’ve been running in the morning for a half-hour every day and then working out after work 4 times a week. Going out to eat and drinking beer is what’s causing this. It is tough to eat healthily, and I love drinking beer. But honestly, having a drink doesn’t really do anything for me anymore. It’s more so out of habit. I think it comes with getting older, but I usually drop weight quickly after losing weight back in high school. I want to preserve muscle, so I can’t just do cardio. I still have to eat but cut and lose weight gradually. I know I can do it; I lost 80 lbs when I was in high school. I can undoubtedly lose 33lbs now, even with a slower metabolism.
I’ve been looking for a reason to lose weight, and our wedding is the perfect reason. This is the day where I want any pictures to be perfect, and I didn’t lose 80 lbs and break free from being obese just to be overweight in my wedding pictures. I think one of the things stopping me is the fear of losing my muscle. When I was thin, I was skinny fat, and I hated how I looked even though I was thin. I had thin arms, small shoulders, and chest but stored weight in my hips and legs. Men desire to have a v-shaped body, and my body couldn’t have been farther from that. I’ve accepted that my lower half is prone to be bigger, but I’ve worked hard to build muscle in my upper body, and I’m afraid that if I lose weight, I’m going to lose it in my upper body and go back to that shape that I desperately hated. However, I know that I want to lose weight and all I can do is keep lifting, stretching, and running to get to my goal weight. I don’t want to go on my honeymoon as is. I want to look good and take pictures with my shirt off, feeling confident. My bachelor party is coming up, and I want to look good in those photos as well.
I’m doing it. I’m going to buy some protein powder, track my calories, cut down on alcohol, and stick to it. This needs to take me out of my comfort zone. I need to find a way to eat healthy when we go to cape may in July. I don’t feel good about myself when I eat poorly. The alcohol and unhealthy food don’t do enough for me to give up on my goals.
